We have decided to start a blog in order to provide viable resources to parents of struggling teens. This article is the first in a series about personal change. I hope you enjoy it.
In order to understand how to change, you must first understand what drives your behaviors. Behavior follows beliefs. Your beliefs become your behavior.
As an example, imagine a little boy in school. He believes he is dumb. The teacher asks the class a question. What do you think that little boy’s behavior is? He isn’t raising his hand to answer the question. He doesn’t put in an effort to come up with an answer. Even if he does know the answer, he isn’t going to raise his hand because he is second-guessing himself. He is making a choice to not answer the question; his beliefs are driving his behavior. Even his body language is driven by his beliefs. I imagine him sitting in the corner or near the back, doing everything he can to avoid eye contact with the teacher. Every time he gets an answer wrong, it fortifies his belief that he is dumb. The times when he gets it correct are just flukes to him.
Now imagine the same kid, only now he believes he is as smart. I imagine this kid is jumping at the opportunity to answer questions with confidence. He sits near the front with full attention. Every time he gets an answer correct, it solidifies his belief that he is smart. When he gets it wrong, it doesn’t matter to him, it is just an opportunity to learn. Now remember, I said this is the same kid, his actual intelligence has not changed between scenarios. The only difference is his beliefs.
All Beliefs Drive Behavior
I hope this knowledge can help you in understanding your teen's behaviors, and maybe even your own.
Sincerely,
Austin
Artwork was provided by @Rockin.Ashy, you can follow her work on Instagram.